Success Secrets for the Total Tosser 04

“Move Champions”

A sign of a brilliant manager is your ability to take a word that can have deep significance to people and give it prominence in your organisation by linking it to projects, logos, “values”, and the frequent use of fatuous jargon. Your ability to force this use of a word on the minions below will signal your alpha status.

Take “Champion” (it must have the capital), for example. It has strong links to sport and much of our population are addicted to sport and suck up its jargon unquestioningly. It also has the suggestion that you’re on people’s side and that you’re fighting for them.
Your triumph comes when you can force people to link it to something as mundane as moving office. The whole process of moving office and enduring the building works on site will be so much better and easier because you know that there is a Move Champion.
The scramble to get a car park brought on by a large parking area being closed will be bearable because you have a Move Champion fighting, somewhere, for you. Just knowing that there’s a Move Champion will help you cope so much more easily with the extra traffic in the area.

If you get shovelled into a smaller office and have nowhere to store all the compliance documents you’re supposed to store – don’t worry, there’s a Move Champion. Just knowing that there’s a Move Champion out there … somewhere … doing it for you, makes all the difference.

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